1
Knife-sharp bell
cuts morning silence.
‘Can I borrow Dad’s tie?’ he says
but she knows
he phoned for reassurance
this being the day
he must face reality.
He listens
to attempts to prepare him
and knows
she thinks
he’ll go away.
11
‘Like a traffic jam’ she tells him.
‘There is no way out
until it’s over.
Let it get you down
and you’ll feel frustrated
angry tense
and will come home
exhausted and bitter.
‘Take it easy
use time productively
and you’ll feel enriched
satisfied
and come home
positive and eager.’
His response is calm
even
while inside
he quietly goes hysterical.
111
He hopes for leniency
thinks a record
of only minor misdemeanors
a month in rehab
to get off the booze
and the presence of his girlfriend
heavily pregnant with their second child
will ensure compassion.
Instead, pending fatherhood
is viewed as further evidence
of irresponsibility.
Anticipation
turns to devastation
as he hears the sentence.
His body slumps.
He glances at his partner
dissolved in tears
unable to look at him
to bear the pain
of seeing his face.
He raises his wrists
to the custodian.
Handcuffs click shut.
He whispers to his mother
‘Take care of my family
while I make the most
of this traffic jam’.
c. Kathryn Coughran
First published: 1994
In: Family Matters (Kathryn Andersen)